i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
