If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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