Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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