best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
