ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
