what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
