Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
