I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
