i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
