I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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