Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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