She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
