apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
