I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
