There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
