Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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