I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
