this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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