So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i believe in u and ur pee
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
