I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just cropdusted the office
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize