if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize