Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
