I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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