Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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