I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There r osticjed everywhere
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
