ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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