My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
