Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize