Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
