This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize