I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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