There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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