We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
