There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
