Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
