As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
