I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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