The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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