All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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