i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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