Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
