I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
