Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize