I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
