last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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