we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
