why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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