He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
