I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
