whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
