she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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