did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
