This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
