Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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