i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
they're like a gay fantastic four
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
